But you’re not MY dad.
I really hope no one actually says this to their husband on Father’s Day.
Because, as far as I can tell, the way my kids honor their dad is directly linked to the level of respect I give to him.
On Father’s Day, that means making a big fuss over him-whether that’s what he wants or not. It means slaving in the kitchen to create delectable meals and treats.
Not just because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, although that’s part of it. It’s because special food is a celebration-and children need to know that their dad is one to be celebrated.
I taught a youth Sunday School class today at church and our discussion led us to reflect on what our dads do for us.
One of the girls in the class said: “My dad doesn’t do anything except yell at us because the house is always messy.” I know this girl’s family and I’m confident her dad is a dutiful father. I also know teenagers will say things just for shock value. Which might have been the case here.
Still, I wasn’t going to let her off easy.
I asked her to dig a little deeper and think of what her dad does for her. And I reminded her that even if he is a crappy dad when he comes home at night(he’s not), he spends all day working to provide for their family. That alone demonstrates incredible love and sacrifice.
It did make me wonder, at least a little about what my kids would say about their dad.
To be sure, Tim is certainly not perfect. But he is a fantastic father and a great role model for and friend to our four daughters (and son, too). Somehow, though, I wonder if much of that would be lost on them if I didn’t take the opportunity to sing his praises once in a while.
I thought about the times I’ve complained about him getting home late. I hope my verbal (and visible) appreciation to him exceeds those occasions.
I thought about the times I’ve undermined him when it comes to discipline. I hope I support him more often than not.
I thought about when I’ve teased him about his bathroom habits, or his nerdiness, or how he can’t seem to end a conversation. I truly hope I build him up far more than I tease.
As I said before, Tim is not perfect. But he should be darn near it in his kids’ eyes. And whether or not they revere him has almost everything to do with me.
And, remarkably, when I build Tim up, not only do the kids have an elevated view of him, but he BECOMES more of the type of father I want for my children.
So Tim, you’re not MY dad. But you can bet that on Father’s Day, and every other day, for that matter, I will celebrate you in front of our kids. I owe that you AND to them.
Happy Father’s Day handsome!
