summer

Our barely-there summer.

Summer began with a bang on Memorial Day weekend.  It was the first weekend Tim and I had spent in town with our kids after ditching them for the two previous weekends.  We bought a house in Utah for my mom to live in and, well, let’s just say it needed a little polishing up.  The previous owners did little to improve the place in the five years they’d owned it.  And, they were proud parents of two gigantic dogs (Huskies!) and two cats.  Who pretty much had a run of the place.  

Maybe I’ll get around to blogging about the house, but in the meantime, let’s get back to summer. 

What summer? 

Well, the one where I had planned to build up business for my in-home music studio but instead invested many of my waking hours supporting the baking business Eve decided to run with a friend. 

What summer?  Oh, the one where Anna decided to work a graveyard shift and consequently sleep all day so we pretty much never got to do anything with her.

What summer?  The summer where my two high-schoolers opted for getting a leg up on school by taking two full semester courses.  Online, of course.

It was basically the summer where I didn’t get to do anything I had planned, instead pouring my energy into my children.  Which isn’t so bad if it’s speckled with fun family plans but, truth be told, there simply wasn’t a whole lot of that.  The stars just didn’t seem to line up in our favor.  Still, there are always bright spots to be found.

Anyway, we kicked it off with Anna’s voice recital.  The culmination of almost four years of voice lessons and participation in choir.  She did not disappoint.  She sang songs in French, Italian and English, nailed the high notes, and made her mother cry.  What else could a girl ask for?

Then the baking business began. 

Eve comfortably agreed to join her friend in this venture, hyper-focused on the baking portion of it.  Little did she know that not only would she get to design a flyer (fun!) but she would need to distribute them in person to all of our family, friends and acquaintances in the neighborhood (not so fun).  In fact, it was downright painful to watch the girls in action. 

I had several people contact me to mention how “cute” Eve and her friend were.  They also commented that it must have been their first time, although, it wasn’t.  That’s nerves for you.  What should have taken an hour to accomplish took two 1 1/2 hour sessions.  Most of it was spent in silence on the doorstep.  Nevertheless, they pushed through the agony and rocked it on the baking and delivery portion of their business, making over $240 apiece minus materials.

Between that and a number of pet-sitting jobs, Eve made bank this summer.

Lily and Rachel both attended camps at BYU – Lily  an ACT Prep Camp (absolutely thrilling, right?) and Rachel a Chip (STEM) camp.  Lily stayed on campus and was surprised to discover that her roommate was a former best friend of her cousin Lexi.  Rachel did not stay on campus but buddied up with a friend within the first few minutes, who turned out to be the daughter of one of my dearest mission friends. 

Small world.

Lily spent all her free time with friends – not atypical behavior for a 16-year-old.  Until she got grounded on the 4th of July for the rest of the summer.  She enjoyed the loose reins we had given her up to that point a little too liberally.  Welp.  Being grounded from everything provided her ample hours to catch up on her two history courses.  So there’s that.  

Rachel spent most of her time in her studies but graced us with her presence any time we proposed a water activity.  Boise boasted a record number of 100 plus degree days so we took full advantage and spent a few days up at the lake.  I’m so grateful to live in such close proximity to numerous outdoor activities.

They canceled our stake pioneer trek due to the heat.

But only after Tim and I had marched our kids and several other members of our congregation throughout the paths in our neighborhood in the heat of the day.  Bwahahaha.  I wonder if all that practice will hold up next year(to which is has been postponed).

In August we invited Anna to quit her job so that we could actually see her before she takes off to college.  She complied and now we see her occasionally.  Her relationship with her sisters has blossomed in the last year – particularly with Eve.  Consequently, it will be hard to see her go.  Anna is such a grounding influence in our home – she is a great example of uprightness and virtue. 

I will miss her dearly.

Our original plans to visit Jill and her family in Lewiston failed to materialize, so we opted for Plan B.  Plan B fulfilled my kids’ lifelong dream of visiting Lagoon.  Having driven down to Utah multiple times a year for the last 18 years, there’s no avoiding a freeway view of Lagoon.  For the past few years, my kids have pestered me each time we passed it with requests to go there.  So I bit the bullet.  We opened and closed the park – older kids riding the crazy rollercoasters on repeat, while Jack and I spent the day on the kiddie rides.  We all left with huge smiles on our faces – bucket list item fulfilled.

While we were in Utah, we also hit up a zip line at Sundance and spent time with cousins.  It is a rare occasion that we go down to visit family without a purpose other than to visit family or attend a summer camp at BYU, so I think we all appreciated being in vacation mode for a change.

We peppered the summer with multiple Let’s Play Music sample classes, trips to our neighborhood swimming pool, hikes and a whole lotta Minecraft.  Tim, Rachel, Eve and Jack (and Anna, when she’s around) willingly waste away their lives in this pursuit.  Eve is convinced it helps her with math.  

Now that summer break has come to a close, I’m still catching my breath.  It turned out far differently than expected, and blogging about it now brings a tinge of regret that memory-making and relationship-building were not at the top of the list.  And yet, I’m also reminded that some stages of life involve drudgery.  In fact, for some, all of life is drudgery.  I can be grateful for the relative ease of my life and the experiences I have to remind me of my abundance. 

To be grateful is to be happy. 

So I’ll choose gratitude.  Particularly now that school’s begun and I indulge in a full 2 1/2 hours to myself every day for the first time, well, since Eve was in kindergarten 8 years ago and we had no idea we were about to hit the reset button.  Cheers to a few hours of solitude after a long time of none!

The summer of the best friend.

When my kids were younger I cringed a little at the term “best friend”. Anytime I’d catch one of my kids and a friend call each other “besties” it just didn’t sit well with me. I’ve always found the term to be a bit exclusive. As most superlatives are.

Though it never evolved into a formal sit-down discussion, my girls knew how I felt on the subject. “It’s just a good idea to surround yourself with lots of great people without unintentionally excluding others by claiming a “bestie” for oneself.”

“It’s better to not put all your eggs in one basket and instead have several good friends that you can count on equally.”

“You might want to include so-and-so in this particular gathering/outing. Otherwise she might feel left out.”

These are the types of things I’d say that likely bred an aversion to “best friends” in my children. Mostly to help them be a little more other-centered and inclusive-also to ensure that they don’t get too complacent in their relationships.

Fast forward to 2020.

After a couple of months of “you can see no one outside your family”, we graduated to “pick a small group of friends and limit yourself to hanging out only with those few this summer.” Huge paradigm shift. But necessary in a pandemic.

So while I am still a huge advocate for casting one’s net wide when it comes to friendships under normal circumstances, it appears that during the pandemic we will be a little bit more choosy about with whom we hang out. “Summer of the best friend”, I’m calling it.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose.

Summer survival.

I always look forward to summer.  I get all starry-eyed just dreaming about having my kids all to myself, working on projects together, horsing around in between, exploring the town, building relationships and learning new things…

Well, we ALL know that’s not typically how it plays out.  Within a few days(it was within a few hours last year), the kids don’t know what to do with all their spare time so they start bickering with one another, begging mom for screen time, or to play another round of Battleship(with mom, and no one to look after the baby) or if they can invite a friend over (again), or to go grab Happy Hour slushies at Sonic for the nth time that week.

It’s all we can do to keep our sanity.  Everyone has their tips and tricks.  Not all of them work for everyone.  But here are a few tips for summer survival that work for me and my family:

  1.  Expect your kids to get up at a regular time.  There’s nothing that makes kids feel more like slugs (and act like them) than not maintaining some sort of sleep schedule.  It’s lights out by 9:30 at our house, even though it’s still light outside until 10:30.   Then they’re up for breakfast by 8:00 in the morning.  This is late enough that they get ample sleep and I still wake up well before them and fit in a workout, shower and breakfast prep(and occasionally more).
  2. Screen time is contingent upon meeting certain requirements.  Ours include morning chores, piano practice, outside/exercise time, scripture study and prayer, personal study time to prevent “summer slide”, and service to others.  Even after all of that is done, they must still wait until at least 1:30 to indulge in screen time.  Which they do.  For about two hours… so that I can get some peace and quiet around here. Click here for printable (and editable) “Have you…” form
  3. Work some sort of structure into your week to keep it fun.  We have “Make it Monday”, “Take it outside Tuesday”, “Work Wednesday”, “Thinking Thursday”, and “Friend Friday”.  The focus for each day ensures that we schedule something every day that falls into the category for that day.  For instance, baking on Monday, a hike on Tuesday, an extra home project or service on Wednesday, an educational outing or project on Thursday and a special outing or play date with friends on Friday.  That doesn’t mean that they can only play with friends on Friday, or that we only get outside on Tuesday; just gives us a guideline so we are keeping ourselves busy and fulfilled.  To top it off, I made a list of ideas of things to do, ways to serve, etc. as a guide for the not-so-littles.
  4. Teach your kids skills while you have them home.  My kids can count on sewing at least one thing with mom and planning, shopping for and preparing dinner for two weeks apiece during the summer.  We put this on the schedule as well, naturally.
  5. Refrain from signing your kids up for countless activities.  We mistakenly think this will keep them engaged and out of our hair.  I have found it cuts into our day and runs us all ragged.  Not to mention, it’s costly.  Three of my four girls were able to sign up for a single 3-5 day summer camp of their choice, two of which coincide so all that chauffeuring is benefiting more than just one child.  There’s something to be said for the “lazy days of summer” (after they’ve gotten their “to-dos” done, of course).
  6. Don’t be afraid to let your kids be bored. It does not make you a bad mom to not provide round-the-clock stimulation for your kids.  When my kid complains she’s bored, my first reply is, “Great! That means you get to use that awesome brain of yours to think of something to do.”  If she complains again, the reply changes to, “Well, I’ve got plenty of ideas…” and out rolls a list of chores.  My kids don’t proclaim boredom anymore.

No summer is perfect.  I’ve been at this for years and finally figured out what worked for us about three summers ago. With a healthy balance of structure, idle time, and flexibility (and VACATION!) any family can enjoy the summer of their dreams.

Summer fun. More aptly named June fun.

We kicked off the summer with some pretty awesome routines to ensure that we were enriching our minds and bodies , reveling sufficiently in the outdoors, exploring our town, and building relationships.  It lasted through June before it all went down the tubes.  We had several summer camps and a family vacation to thank for that.  But June was the stuff summers are made of: cooking with the kids, sewing, reading, hiking, biking, field tripping, and the like. Here’s a taste of June 2017:

Our family is so unbelievably blessed.  We fit this and so much more into a few short, blissful weeks.  I seriously LOVE summer with my family!